Temperatures are rising today, and it’s not just the weather. In the beautiful picturesque window fronts of downtown Alexandria, the window displays are an attractive treat for the eyes. Christmas garland, twinkling lights, enticing presents just waiting to be a gift under a tree. Mannequins stand as attractive sentinels of each store as well. Apparently, they have feelings and their own code of ethics, unbeknownst to “real humans”.
A formal complaint was made on Instagram by one local mannequin, Dash. Dash says he takes a lot of pride in wearing the latest menswear from the Dashery. His humans spend a lot of time and care on his looks to make him the epitome of dapperness. Looking at him, it’s easy to agree. His complaint is a simple one to his neighbors at Cowing Robards. Put on a shirt. “I’m in no way, shape or form intimidated by their six packs, or the fact that they look like a marble statue of a Greek God. I’ve just noticed that some of the mannequins at Jackie J’s have fallen over trying to get a better look, and it’s just not right. Their humans keep checking the display to see why they’re tipping over, and I just don’t want the Ladyquins to get hurt.”
The Cowing Robard’s mannequins have issued a response, “Don’t be mad, bruh. It’s not a crime to be good looking.” They also made the argument that custom, high quality embroidery takes time and you can’t rush perfection.
According to city ordinance, it in fact isn’t a crime to be good looking. They will take into consideration all mannequins requests at the next Downtown Business Leaders meeting.