7 Rules for Breaking Up With Someone in a Restaurant or Bar

Breaking up with someone is never easy, and that includes deciding where to do the dumping. If you determine that a restaurant or bar is the best place to do this dirty deed, Eater has seven rules for you to follow:

  1. Sit at the bar. Beyond ruining your partner’s evening/week/month/life, there are innocent bystanders involved in this situation—namely, your server. A seat at the bar allows your date to make a quick exit and save face or a chance to stay and drink the memory of you away with less disruption to the flow of the dining room.
  2. Earlier is better. There’s never really a good time to deliver this sort of news, but if one must pick an opportune moment to end a relationship in restaurant, do it during the drinks portion of the meal before any orders are taken. Your date can decide to throw that martini at you and leave or suggest you take the discussion elsewhere. It’s difficult to fathom anyone being so well adjusted that they would willingly stay and have a meal after having their heart broken.
  3. Avoid high-end spots. It would be terrible to allow your date to get dressed up and leave their home thinking they’re about to have a nice evening out, when in actuality they’re about to get dumped. If it’s the sort of place where normal people would go to get engaged (think: romantic, white tablecloth spots), then you really don’t want to break bad news over bread there.
  4. Go to their neighborhood. Don’t make your date go out of their way to get to you if you’re just going to dump them. If you make your partner schlep it downtown when they live uptown, then you’d better have a car waiting when they storm out on you.
  5. Bring cash. The best way to ensure a quick exit is to settle up in cash. There’s nothing more awkward than waiting around for a card to get swiped.
  6. Leave a large tip. No matter which restaurant you visit, remember to tip BIG. After all, you just made the evening weird for everyone. No, really, even the dishwasher heard that you are a jerk.
  7. Never go to that restaurant or bar again. Sorry, you’re banned. The staff remembers what you did. And especially don’t bring your new date. That’s just tacky.